One Hour and Eight Minutes
In 2021, I decided to start writing goals for myself. Annual goals that would keep me accountable for my time and also help fight life comparisons.
I was into year two of a rebuilding phase from a 7-year-long shame-based trauma that stemmed from my earthly father’s secret life. A secret life that came with a very big price tag that many innocent people would pay. Having to start all the way over from scratch, since I had literally lost everything but the clothes on my back, was very draining. I knew that I was in a different place than others my age. I did not want to feel less than by comparing myself with others. So I decided to focus my energy and efforts on writing and developing goals for myself. One of the goals that I wanted to accomplish by the end of 2021 was to enter a 1.2-mile open-water race.
Starting in January of 2021, I worked on building up my endurance with each lap swimming workout. I started swimming 12 laps non-stop in a 25-meter pool and knew that I would need to work up to 72 laps non-stop since that would be an approximation for the 1.2-mile open water race. With each workout, I gradually increased my laps. Once I surpassed swimming 20 laps non-stop in a 25-meter pool, then I would train to swim 40 laps without stopping for a break. Over time I reached 40 laps, then 60, then I finally attained 72 laps. It was grueling. It was not easy. There were many days I did not want to go to the pool, but I kept pressing onward! When I reached 72 laps, I felt this amazing sense of accomplishment because I can remember noticing swimmers who would swim for long distances without stopping for a break and thinking how much I wanted my body to be able to do that. They were such an inspiration to me, and seeing their swimming accomplishments pushed me to go further with my swimming capabilities.
Once I reached my 72-lap goal, I was ready for my first 1.2-mile open water swim practice, which I wrote about in the last blog entry “Swimming in God’s Pool.” With each 1.2-mile open-water swim workout, I was building my endurance and getting used to a whole other beast – open-water swimming, something that I am still trying to master and acclimate to.
That fall, did I finish the 1.2-mile open water race without stopping? I am happy to say, “Yes!” Upon getting out of the lake and my husband, Shawn, greeting me with a warm towel and an ice-cold Gatorade, I felt amazing! My time was one hour and eight minutes. A time that I recorded in my swim notebook and something that I could work from for next year in 2022. For the next 30 minutes, I took off my swim cap, rested, and watched other swimmers finish the 1.2-mile race while others were finishing their 2-mile race. On the ride home, I enjoyed an energy bar from my swim participant goodie bag.
But, even more so, I relished this amazing feeling of having accomplished what I thought to be in January a goal that would be impossible for me to reach.
I have learned that setting goals for myself and doing a monthly check-in on my overall progress has been very helpful in fighting life comparisons. It keeps me focused on myself, my continued healing, and the rebuilding stages after such a loss. It is a great reminder of how our Heavenly Father helps us with motivation and determination for our physical and spiritual growth. At the end of the year, we can look back and see just how far we have come and how much we have accomplished; this gives us a great feeling about ourselves, something our Heavenly Father cares very much about. He loves us and He wants us to love us!
We are His Unique Creation!